Impossibilities are His specialty

If God said it He will do it. 

Trust Him 

even when you can't work out how it's going to happen. 

Impossibilities are His specialty.

---

Let go.

kick some ass

Sometimes taking a step away from routine can really help get perspective on what is really going on in my life. I know where I want to go and have a vague idea of how to get there but to go on a journey you need more than just a plane ticket and a smile. There are lots of little things that need to come together {emphasis on little things}. The thing is I have been given everything I need to go but the little things that really shouldn't matter that much have a death grip on my hope.

The past week I have taken a few deep breathes and tried to just chill the frig out. Honestly it has really helped. Letting myself go to a place where I just don't really care. Not because I don't actually care but because I don't need to. I am not saying I don't give a crap about what happens but I get so consumed with caring that every molecule needs to be in line for me to be ok. I am learning to let go of the controls. I my heart I know the best option is to lift my hands in surrender at the first sign of a struggle, giving it to God right away...I am still working on that.

I know what I am supposed to do next.

It involves making a change that is good but definitely not easy. It will take a lot of faith and require sacrifice and most of all trust. What I expected to be a new fun adventure is starting to reveal itself as an intimidating journey that is starting to scare the crap out of me.

Revealing these feelings on a website for strangers is always a fun way to get stuff off my chest but I know that soon I am going to have to start opening up to my friends, family and loved ones. That is the scariest part. Knowing that I am already scared for what is next, stepping way out of my comfort zone. Being transparent with those I care about the most with the possibility of rejection is crippling. I know I have to move forward regardless of what people are thinking or going to say but it doesn't mean it makes it easier when people you want to be there for you don't back you up.

All I can do is listen to the God who loves me and wants the best for me and trust that no matter what I  can do it. Even when it doesn't make sense and people don't understand he has got me in his arms.

No more sad, depressed, confused Letitia. I am jumping out of the boat and going. It isn't about me being ready because I will never get there if I want to be a perfect 100%. The truth is life is good and circumstances are not going to define me anymore. I am made for a purpose and my purpose is to go to the nations and share the miraculous, relentless, incomparable love of God. It's time to kick some ass for Jesus. 

gosh darnit

Pretty much

                                            

                                                    I don't have it all together             

                                 but He does 

Not What I Expected

Let's start by making something clear

I am incredibly stubborn

I like to have plans and be as prepared as possible for anything that may come across my path. So much so that I have missed out on numerous opportunities that could have been amazing. I have created this picture in my head of how I want something to turn out I and don't stop to think about other possibilities. I can be banging on a door trying to force it to open crying out to God trying to figure out why he isn't helping me. Meanwhile God  has been trying to show me another door he has had open for a long time just waiting for me to walk through. Unfortunately it gets worse, there have been times when I will acknowledge the open door God is pointing too and I still choose to try and make my way work.   

My soul is screaming out for what God wants but my flesh is determined to make things happen in my timing and in my way.  Last night I was driving talking to my wonderful mother about a situation I just can't seem to get past. I know the dream is in my heart and I want it to happen but I was so focused on doing it my way that I ignored what God had pointed out quite a while ago. Instead of moving forward I dug my heels into the ground until I got my way. The thing is I didn't get my way but that dream is a lot closer because...

 I have decided to let go.

After falling on my face and being frankly, a basket case (sorry friends) I am going to stop trying to be in control of  everything and see where He takes me. Life is a funny thing, there are times I have had to work so hard for things that I want that when something comes easily  my first instinct is that it is a trap and I am going to fail, get hurt or both.

Sometimes God just wants me to relax and know that he is there to take care of me so that is what I am going to do. Trust and follow His lead. 

Jump out of the boat

If you woke up feeling really down, remember that whatever you are going through is not where you are staying. You're just passing through!

I am sitting at work and decided to take a peek at twitter and this popped up on my feed. It amazes me how I can wake up feeling absolutely terrible, as if nothing could go right and still God lets me now he is there. 

This past weekend I pent 28 hours in a car driving to California and back. As you probably know I have been in a bit of a challenging season where my dreams have seemed impossible and the place I want to be is so far from reality it's kind of ridiculous. I knew I had to face my frustrations and just get away hence the road trip for one. The journey there was great, I had this excitement and expectation for something great and to be refreshed inside and out. With the excitement came a small warning in the back of my head saying "don't get too excited" . I tried my best to ignore it and it seemed to just disappear once I got there, I met with some great people and definitely enjoyed the sunshine.

The long drive home was where that warning exploded in my face. I was driving for hours and hours, there were accidents causing everything to come to a full stop, other times I was flying through traffic like I was in nascar. About 12 hours into the drive my walls came crumbling down. The tears started flowing and I released that I was driving to a place I didn't want to be. I was exhausted, warn out, tired, cranky and ready to just give up. The worst part was I knew it wasn't just the drive that was getting to me. The way I felt in that moment was how I feel about life. Tired, fed up, frustrated and so incredibly hopeless. I know the truth about life, God is bigger, he cares, he loves me, he has good things planned and with him I can overcome but that truth has been jaded by my circumstances.

For so long I have went through the motions of going to church, reading my bible, praying doing it all. Doing what I can to build my relationship with God. At times I feel him so close that nothing can get in my way but as soon as I look at life and not at him I fall apart. It seriously sucks going day to day feeling hopeless like things are not moving forward. I have had amazing moments but sadly I have made decisions to focus on the negative not the positive. This has become an endless cycle of be good for a bit and then be terrible all over again that I am continuously stuck in. 

When I got up this morning I felt rough, I was back to the routine of work and life in cold gloomy Abbotsford. As I got my morning cup of tea and I reluctantly started working the story of Peter came to mind. He was a man who was so loved by Jesus, he made huge mistakes and still lived a life that people knew was completely dedicated to God. 

The amazing story of Peter walking on water has been one I have heard to many times to count but after today it has made itself a special place in my heart. 

Peter was just a man, he had flaws, fears, insecurities but more than that he had a passionate love for the Lord. When Jesus called him out of the boat he had to make a choice to step out of the boat. He was out of safety and comfort with no one to learn back on if he failed. He may have been terrified but Peter had trust that Jesus wouldn't let him sink (literally). He had to keep his eyes completely focused on Jesus face, not the water or his friends who were probably yelling at his telling him to get his behind back in the boat, he focused on Jesus.

The moment he thought he could do it on his own and took his focus of Jesus he was finished, swimming with the fishy's. Then something so profound happened! Jesus pulled him back up and in mercy and grace literally pulled him back up and saved him from drowning. Jesus could have just got fed up and left him but he didn't He gave Peter another chance. It is one thing to trust God and step out in faith but as Christians we do things because of Him and our strength is in Him. When we take it on ourselves and think we can do it on our own (whether it is consciously or subconsciously) failure is going to show up pretty quick.

Now this story is awesome because walking on water would be cool but what is truly amazing is the faith that Peter had. Peter had to trust with everything he had to step out of that boat, to know that Jesus said we can do all things with Him and actually live that out. It doesn't make sense to just hop out of a boat and see if it works but Peter did it because Jesus said he could. Jesus is the reason we have a life in the first place and sometimes it can suck and feel like I am drowning. I am splashing around trying to look at Jesus and keep my focus on him and it may seem like he's forgotten about me. It can get to a point where hope is gone but I know my Jesus and I know that even when it doesn't make sense, he has asked me to jump out of the boat and I trust him enough to try even if I get wet and things get messy. He doesn't do it to make me hurt he does it to show his goodness and the things he can do in and through me.

Peter didn't just mess up he messed up in the exact same moment Jesus was revealing his miraculous power. We can become so familiar with God and his presence we forget to give him the reverence he deserves. We lose sight of the fact he is the creator of heaven and earth! We need to stay in awe of who he is and not forget the magnitude of the God we serve. God is a big God, he has never left or forgotten us, sometimes it is just a bit harder to climb out of the boat. It may not be smooth sailing or anywhere near easy but as difficult as it is to admit, it will be worth it. 

Come To Me

I love songs that give you goosbumps, in just seconds your heart feels refreshed and you know God is right there with you. This is definitely one of those songs. 

I am the Lord your God,
I go before you now.
I stand beside you
I’m all around you
And though you feel I’m far away
I’m closer than your breath
I am with you
More than you know

I am the Lord your peace
No evil will conquer you
Steady now your heart and mind
Come into my rest
And oh, let your faith arise
And lift up your weary head
I am with you
Wherever you go

Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m everything
Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m your everything

I am your anchor, in the wind and the waves
And I am your steadfast, so don’t be afraid
Though your heart and flesh may fail you
I’m your faithful strength
And I am with you
Wherever you go

Life is a beautiful thing

Life is a beautiful thing.

It isn't something we endure,

it is something we get to experience and enjoy.

Today I was reminded by some of the most beautiful people I know the importance of our choices. The choices we make will determine the amount of joy we let flow into our lives. We have the choice to let our situations get the better of us or to teach us. The fact that life may not be exactly how we want it be can destroy our hope and leave us apathetic and broken OR in a moment of boldness we can choose to get a different perspective and take every moment for what it is, an opportunity to love the life you live. It is never going to be perfect or run flawlessly but the times we need help getting through, we can lean on those God has placed around us.

I was reminded of the incredible and priceless people I have the privilege of doing life with. It isn't about a special formula or always saying the right thing and in our case where in the world we are, it is about love. Being accepted and loved is a gift I have been given by four amazing women who I look up to and love beyond words.

Where I am in this moment may not have been something I could have predicted but the blessings I have are countless. I am so unbelievably grateful for what I have and I am eagerly anticipating the future knowing I have amazing people along for the journey.

-- love you PB.GT.CH.NB --

Train away

As I sweat like a man running on the treadmill I was thinking as always about the deeper meanings of life. There are things we do in life that have purpose like taking care of ourselves by investing in people, our health, working so we can have a house, eat and live. So many things we do to live a happy life. We work so hard to make things happen, make our lives the best we can so we get to the next best place.

While I walk longer and longer I am getting absolutely nowhere on the treadmill but I am sweating nasty toxins out of my body and keeping my heart ticking. No matter if I run for 5 minutes or an hour it will seem like I haven't went anywhere, no distance whatsoever but the machine tells me I have ran miles. I don't immediately see the good it's doing me but I know that it will pay off.

Sometimes God puts us in situations where we feel like we are running as fast as we can, our tank is nearly on empty but we are in the exact same place. Our circumstances are the same but we are even more worn out.What I have learned is that sometimes we have to go through a training season. We are building ourselves so when the time is right we have prepared ourselves to run the race God has called us to run.

It doesn't always make sense and it can hurt a lot but trust me Go always comes through and when you see the result and the amazing blessings it will so be worth it.

Regardless of what you feel or think God will always do things to build you up and do things to give you an incredible life. Trust in him and jut watch what he can do.

I shall but love thee better after death.

It was my birthday this week and I decided to get myself a FANTASTIC book as a present. A beautiful collection of love poems written by poets like the Bronte's, Keats, Blake, Shelly and my absolute favorite Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

The way her passion bursts from inside her to paint such a beautiful picture in just a few words takes my breathe away. Her beloved husband was her muse, inspiring her to write poetry that would leave me in awe 150 years after she wrote it. I have read sonnet XXIII about a thousand times and every time I read it I get butterflies and can't help but smile. It is one of the most popular love poems ever written playing a huge part in the legacy Elizabeth has left behind. 

I am not a poet, a writer or even decent at coloring in the lines. I don't have millions of followers on twitter or paparazzi following me around, I am no one of huge significance in society. I am however Letitia Andreas and that is pretty freaking cool if you ask me. I don't know what my dreams are, I don't know where I want to be in 10, 20 or 30 years heck I don't even know where I want to be in 5! I do know that I want to leave a legacy. 

My goal isn't to be famous but to be known as a person who loved. Love is the only thing in the world that has always been and will always be. This year has a clean slate, even though it is 11 days in and I feel like I am ready for a fresh start already I know that this year will be another year of adventure and new stories. I have made promises to myself that this year will be different and the only one who can make it an awesome year is me so this year I am making a choice. 

I will love the unloved

I will pursue life with everything I am 

I will take risks and not hold back 

I will not be defined by my past 

I will be filled to the top with joy

I will just be me 

The last line of sonnet XXIII is I shall but love thee better after death and that is my desire. I pray the love God has put in my heart will pour out of me and into people around me and create a chain reaction of people outrageously loving people. This will be my legacy.

secret garden

*How am I supposed to dream big when my secrets and dreams are locked away so deep in my heart that I don't even know where they are. God is the only one who knows how to fix it, he has the key to unlock the happiness that is so far gone. My true heartache is seeping out, pushing the artificial smile off my face. 

My life is great, I have so many things to be thankful for but it's just not the life I want to be in. The stories of adventure I want are no where near the mediocre production I am acting out. 

God has big things planned, waiting to find out what they are and who I am supposed to be is infuriating. It is time for the walls of my secret garden to come down and the beauty inside to be revealed, I just need to find the key.  

confession

I have no idea what I want to do with my life

the mystery of life

Why is the unknown so intimidating? Making a decision can be crippling when you take a split second to think of the consequences. The idea of settling and not taking a step out into the chaos of life seems so appealing at the moment. Not worrying about failure or pain just mundane contentment.

I see people out the living their dreams, having at least a brief idea of what direction they are heading. Every journey is different because every person is different but we all have many common threads. We all want to be loved, we want to be happy, we want to be significant and life a life that means something. The hard part is figuring out what will bring that fulfillment.

I have figured out the main component of life, following and trusting God...no matter what. At the moment no matter what seems to be a lot tougher than other times. I have absolutely no direction or motivation at the moment, I have not yet hit apathetic but that is close around the corner. The fear of reaching the point of apathy is the only small force pushing me forward. With apathy becomes self loathing, depression, and narcissism.

Being full of life and joy is a feeling I miss, glimpses of happiness come and go but once you have experienced the high of life nothing else cuts it except the full experience. My comrades in life have asked me what do you want? what will make you happy? it crushed me to think I don't even know what that is. Life has been broken down into a uneventful routine. Sunday Church - Monday Work and Gym - Tuesday Work - Wednesday Work and Church - Thursday Work and Gym - Friday Work - Saturday Gym and Cleaning day. Every week for the past six months that has been my entire life.

While I may seem like I am just complaining, that is only the majority of this rant the other part is a question to myself. What the heck are you doing with your life chick?! I know that no one can change me but me, that is obvious. My question is what do I want to change it to, what do I want? What is going to get me out of this numb haze. I need to get out of this ugly space, I just don't know how. 

count your blessings

When I sit in bed late at night and have time to be alone with my thoughts it is amazing where I travel.

I ponder my day and how things turned out, the way they could have went differently, or how perfectly things fell into place.

Today I sat reminiscing the past few months, the change and chaos of my life has been utterly immense. So much has happened yet I still fill my time anticipating the next moment that will soon become another memory. Rushing forward forgetting to acknowledge the past and present. All three equally important to the masterpiece that is life.

Count your blessings

Have you heard that on before? I have heard it all my life, its meaning has not been one that has had much weight until more recently. It is not about taking a moment to sit and compare my life to others but reflect on the goodness that is in life itself. The goodness that God has showered me with, the unending love he has freely given.

While 2012 has been a challenging year, pushing me and testing me on a diverse spectrum of areas I am more than grateful. This year has been absolutely wonderful, overflowing with moments of pure joy and absolute bliss! The blessings I have been given are unfathomable, if I tried to count it would be impossible to do. Even right now as I sit all alone I know I have a roof over my head, people that love me and a God who is the biggest gentle giant in the universe and cares for me. That alone is worth living for and surely more than enough to put a smile on my face.

REST

absolute luxury

Sometimes it is so hard to just relax, people suggest clearing your mind. The problem is I don't even know how to get there. Sitting down ad trying to think or process usually consists of me trying to quiet the screaming thoughts in my head, going off on rabbit trails in the thought world and adding more noise to the chaos. It can be anything from what to make for dinner to what am I doing with my life. The noise just never stops.

Being able to sit and have nothing go through my head sounds like absolute luxury.

P31

here's to the future

I met with an old friend today, a friend who has seen me in some of my worst moments and has seen be thrive at my very best. It was so good to reminisce about the memories we have together and talk about the adventures we have journeyed in life over the past few years.

Talking about our lives now and the dreams in our hearts was amazing. Even though it has been so long since we have seen each other we could still encourage each other and get excited for what is to come.

We met years ago as crazy teenage girls emotions and all not knowing what the future held and now we are living it out. Our futures are so different then we ever imagined they would be because they are so much better than we thought! Our past may have had messy parts but our futures look bright because we learned from life's curve balls.

The next chapters will have dreams coming true and new adventures full of life! I am so excited for whats next, I just want it to begin. 

Ghosts That We Knew

The new Mumford album is MINT!

flippin love it already...at the moment this is my favorite I am even enjoying this heavenly melody on repeat as I write this now

next

Waiting for the next thing can be the hardest part. 

Life is running smoothly, no major complaints but there is the one little thing that keeps coming back to test you. It comes back to make sure you don't ever forget where you came from. The good, the bad and the ugly are accompanied by their friend life. Life likes to make sure things stay messy, no routine or becoming comfortable. Keeping you on your toes so you enjoy every little moment of joy and sadness. 

With a returning pattern of change, waiting for what's next is exhilarating. It could be a challenge you need to face or a battle that requires everything in you. Other times it is a kiss of heaven, bringing someone special into your arms or that dream in your heart finally comes true. 

The idea of 'next' leaves us in constant state of questioning. Could something better be around the corner or could it finally be my turn to be happy. No matter how good we have it we want more. 

I want my next to be a fantastically mind-blowing spectacular display of awesome. I want every particle in my body to tingle with joy. I want to feel the happiness from the inside out causing a chain reaction, I want my smile to be so contagious cranky old grannies smile. Most of all I want my heart to be fill to the tippy top with love. 

I want it to be time for my next. 

so freaking excited

IT'S FRIDAY!

to quote the brilliant Kristin Wiig

"I am so freaking excited!"

life lesson

Life lesson of today:

People teach you two things,

 how you want to be & how you don't want to be

today I learned the second one

what I [wish I would have] said

Why is it so hard to be 100% honest? 

even with strangers, they are never going to see me again and people that I love are going to love me anyway. 

I can't count how many times I have laid in bed at night replaying scenarios in my head wishing it would have played out different. Wish I would have said something different or made a different decision. 

The fear of honestly has driven me mad! I can be so wound up in the moment that I let the fear of the truth paralyze my thoughts and mediocrity comes out on top. 

Most times when a person struggling with truth it is more often than not related to matters of the heart. He loves her but she doesn't love him or she loves him but he is in love with someone else. I get that, I have lived that, but honesty and the human expression of words is so much more than romantic confusion. 

How many times have you had a dream or utterly insane idea but you are too scared to tell anyone so you suppress the passion and settle for a more 'realistic' plan. 

I wish I would have taken time to listen to the whisper in my heart and the invaluable wisdom of God in times of confusion, rather than follow impulse out of impatience and anxiety.

I do not regret decisions in my life because my life kicks ass! The path I have taken has has twists and turns, bumps and bruises. I have traveled through the valleys and rested on the mountain top to take in the view and appreciate the beauty in life. 

The memories I have are magnificently invaluable, all coming together to paint a masterpiece that is still to be completed. 

I want to continue on this course with words of truth on my lips and a heart full to the brim with a burning love for people.  

a new way of seeing things

just a thought

With the world so focused on the right now speedy fast, how many times have we worried about getting to the next place that we've missed our turn off that could have been a short cut to our destination?

I am not talking about the stereotypical don't be so focused on the future that you miss whats right in front of you

I am talking about the fact that we are moving so fast trying to make things happen on our own that we complicate situations. The feeling of being overwhelmed is all to familiar consuming your thoughts on a regular basis. You struggle to get a good nights sleep because you can't get your brain to stop. I have been there, nights where my thoughts are at warp speed the harder I try to chill the worse it gets.

Planning is something I have always done, making sure every single detail is planned to a T.

Having crazy pursuits and far off aspirations are by no means foreign to my life. The past few weeks I have had a life changing epiphany! I can start planning or start living. I could try and live out a plan but I have tried that. It is great for a while but when  spontaneity comes into the picture I self impload.

In 1 Samuel there is a story where Samuel is sleeping and he hears someone call his name. He is so used to routine as soon as he hears his name he thinks it the priest Eli. Three times he runs over asking Eli what he should do. Eli brings light to the situation and he says it is God speaking to Samuel. 

God speaks to everyone whether they are listening or not. How many times has God said to you chill take a sec to relax and then lets take a step forward together. The problem is you were so busy making your next five steps that you missed his direction and end up going on a massive trek to get to where you could have been in one motion if you would have slowed down and listened.

Just live your life and enjoy it! let God direct you and listen to his voice. When He is silent it doesn't mean he left it means he is quiet. 

run away

I want to run away.

start all over.

forget the past. 

nothing holding me back.

everything new.

just run away.

listen to the rain

When things seem like they are too much listen to the rain.

Every single drop has perfect place to land,

but it still has to fall before it achieves perfection. 

awakened by love

The beauty of a woman is unfathomable. 

The world has limited beauty to her physical appearance when beauty is defined as the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind. 

It doesn't say the chick with the nicest rear end or the guy with the six-pack because beauty is so much more than that. 

This is why when a woman is told she is beautiful, even if subconsciously, she feels accepted and feels a connection because 

her inner being is being awakened by love. 

the truth hurts...or does it

sometimes we don't ask the questions we know we should 

because we are too scared of the answer. 

...

if we were really honest would life still look the same?

there are so many lies out there stopping us from reaching the highest points in life where we can jump off the edge completely fearless and soar above the sadness and rest in the fact that there is hope. 

The truth has so much power and freedom all we need to do is let go.

Jesus said "I am the Way, the Truth & the Life"

He knows that fear of the truth holds us back in a corner crippling us until we have a moment of courage and realize the risk is worth it. 

His way is truth so we can bring life 

Don't worry about the what if's because if you wait long enough, one day you will look back and that what if will have turned into a should of, those are a lot harder to live with. 

Just speak out and let the peaces fall where they may 

honey won't you let me in

love this song!

Now the snow will fall and the lover's call

Will be drenched out by the shatterin' of birds

As the season shifts, lonely minds will drift

On the ocean in a build above its lore

As I knock your door from inside once more

How I wish a soothin' breeze would let me in

Shake my tambourine at your glowing dreams

So honey won't you let me in, oh

As we cease to know where our feet will go

We won't see the ribbons tied up in the pines

Branches will untie every mumblin' lie

Every frailed word in your lullaby is heard

Oh when I catch the force of our first divorce

How I wish the turning sunset could record

Blow my engine steam at your glowin' dreams

So honey won't you let me in, oh

Now the dust will rise, dress the open skies

Just a gallery of words we've used too much

It's a feathers weight but what if it's too late

To be building up our muscles in distract

Put me on the mornin' ship and I will take the trip

To return with all the treasures of our past

It will always seem like a glowin' dream

So honey won't you let me in

I said honey won't you let me in, oh

timing is everything...

timing is everything...

set sail

I want to fall in love 

set sail on an adventure where my heart is the compass 

leading me to discover a timeless romance 

you are you

One of my favorite things in the world is people watching, sitting and observing people from all walks of life makes me beyond happy. There are so many things to learn from people but if I am always talking I am never going to gain the knowledge I desire. Being tired also helps because I don't have the energy to make an effort so I can sit an absorb like a sponge.

I have watched and listened to old friends, new friends, and strangers on the train facing their life giants. Some have been consumed by circumstance and others have rose above the challenge to strengthen their character. When I see how inspiring people can be with the life they have it pushes me to strive for even more. Words are not enough to express my gratitude to my friends, family, and God for all that I have.

Today alone I have seen some of my favorite people on the planet, enjoyed my favorite treat halloumi cheese, and now I am relaxing in starbucks with a cup of tea. I spent a while reading some of my favorite blogs and there has been a common theme across them all. People are not content. There is a yearning for more, a need to compare to others to rate ourselves on a scale of success.

I am guilty of this myself, looking towards others to find my value and worth. I have a better job than this person, I don't dress as well as this person, I am more intelligent than this person, the list can go on and on. As I have explored this a bit over the past while I have discovered that this is incredibly common so common in fact it is a problem with every person on the planet. We all want to be accepted and seen as fantastic. We gain one thing and before we even celebrate our achievement we are already pursuing the next best thing.

While that is something that is in the DNA of humans I think we still have a choice to go against habitual patterns. It is definitely easier said than done but what about truth? If someone tells you that you have a blue top on and clearly your top is white you know 100% the truth from the lie. Yet when someone tells you you're amazing in your head you tell yourself your average. The truth is obvious, YOU ARE AMAZING! your amazingness isn't based on the fact that you smell better than the person next to you it is because you as an individual are flippin brilliant. If this still confuses you go back to the blue vs white top. The white top wasn't white just because you compared it to the blue, it was white al on its own merit.

There are 7 billion people on the planet and God still thought it was missing something so he created you! You are incredible, inspiring, unique, intelligent, creative, beautiful, the list goes on and on. It has nothing to do with things around you but simply the fact that you are you.

more and more

the more I get the more I want,

the more I want the less I am satisfied,

the less satisfied I become the more questions I have,

the more questions I have the more I realize there is much much more to discover.

...

These questions, whether they are simply answered or left as a mystery stir something inside of me. I desire to grow and become better than the day before. I try to put others first so I can learn new things, discover beauty in everything around me.

God has placed a dream in my heart that requires me to trust, to leap off the edge whole heartedly trusting that he will make a way. I may have moments of hesitation even thoughts of failure but ultimately my faith in Him is more. More than my fears, more than my disappointment, more than my expectations.

The need to follow His will has become the driving force propelling me forward. Giving up has come too close, its companion darkness, looming around waiting to overwhelm and overtake. When I call His name His light brings clarity, defeating the darkness revealing the truth.

The winding road of confusion is left behind, the path of peace is the one I choose. The truth of his word is a sweet nectar to my spirit, breathing life into my soul. He is there as a comforting friend and a mighty protector. With Him I have ALL I need, never am I in lack.

Our journey is never ending.
Daily I will pursue Him
Never letting go of the call.
The call to love.

...but when

6000

This blog started for my 4 best friends to be able to know the ramblings in my head and for me to vent even if no one listened. That has now grown and I have now had 6000 hits of strangers, friends, and family look into my brain and heart to see what really goes on. That number is still small but to me it got me thinking about the potential in the minut details.

Some posts are simple as a picture that inspired me and others are words tied together to scratch the surface of my thoughts. Whether simple or complicated it all out for you to see.

I have been thinking a lot lately about influence and inspiration I get from people. There have been people in life life that changed me for the better and no longer have a part in my life as time has passed where others have only just entered my world and have pushed to me to new heights. The thing is in life we all have moments where we can take hold of opportunities and inspire others even if it is in the smallest way. I am just a simple girl from Canada who is passionate about God and loving people yet I have been on a journey in life that is greater than anything I could have designed myself. Sharing my story and the journey I am on has become one of my most favorite pass times. The memories I have of being impacted by people in a massive way are great but it is in the small things that have made the greatest difference in me. The people that cared because they wanted to not because they had to are the ones that are still hold a place in my heart. When I read a piece of literature, get a smile from an old lady on the train, or encouraged by a friend I am lifted up. I get inspired in the small things people do and say and that is what I hope to achieve in my life.

I want people to know how amazing they are, how loved they are, how they can do anything they set their mind and heart to. This blog may be random thoughts but my prayer is that even in my ramblings and chaotic craziness, somewhere in the midst of it you see that we are all dreamers who can really achieve what is in our hearts.

The dream of the ideal job, the storybook romance, the perfect love, the adventures and everything in between can be truth. We all live a life that requires trust in God and the faith to put the dreams in action. So take the next step and inspire someone today. 

light at the end of the tunnel

No one dislikes good things happening, whether it 's a new pair of shoes or winning the lottery good things happen. The test is focusing on the good even when it is minuscule or non existent, it is so much easier said than done I know but it doesn't hurt to remind ourselves. When bad times happen and when good times happen they all come together to shape the person we are. Today I am taking hold of my happy moment and hanging on to it as long as I can.  Situations whether good or bad help us appreciate what we have in our lives. The ones we love, memories, dreams, hopes all intertwined together create a beautiful life. The light at the end of the tunnel may be only for a moment and push us to rise to the challenges of life or it may be there for a while to let us enjoy the joys of life. When we get to the end and step into the warmth of the light we can take a deep breathe, and bask in the solace. Life is a journey and we have the choice to make the most of it. Each new day gives us the opportunity to enjoy the good moments.

As a quirky man once said "tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow". 

Start Doing

There are 7 billion people on the planet.

Now I know that is common knowledge but I am infamous for over thinking so why not come along for the ride. 7 bilion people is a LOT of people, I mean that is 7 000 000 000 - that is 9 zeros.  Whats even more is if each day there are 24 hours, together that is 168 000 000 000 hours in a day for people on earth to do something significant. I have had my down in the dumps days where I feel small and insignificant but why dwell on that?

You, yes you were created for a purpose. Not just your better looking, smarter, more successful friend YOU. With so many people on the planet one of the first things our brain tells us to do is compare ourselves to others. We could look at the beautiful Mother Theresa who is known all over the world for her work in India, then there is Bono with his (red) campaign and the fight against aids, or we can look at people like donald trump or Oprah who are both incredibly influential and wealthy people. What I want to know is why?

If being significant is all about upstaging someone and being better I don't want any part. The thing is at some point in your life ( probably more than once) you are going to have to take a look back at what you have done. Being honest with yourself how many times have you evaluated your lofe and felt like it just wasn't enough? The job you thought was perfect fell through, the relationship you thought would last forever ended in heartache or you took a risk and it failed horribly. I can tick all those boxes and still have a smile on my face.

How do I that? well it sure isn't the easiest decision I have had to make. I still choose to do it though because I know that one day my dreams will come true. I am not talking about this airy fairy living on cloud 9 dream but I am talking about the things that get my heart pumping. When I talk about something and I can't help but get excited about or the ideas that I think are just a little crazy, one day those things may just change the world.

I am not saying I want recognition or to be famous and swimming in cash I want to do something that makes someone smile. My dream is for every woman, man and wee little child on the planet feel love. It is fluffy and far fetched but the reality is it is my dream. I am not going to be able to travel the world and tell 7 billion people that they are loved or that they matter but with the power of people it is possible. If you don't believe me and think that dreams have limits I would like to share a story.

Once upon a time there was a little boy by the name of timothy. Now Timothy was a very smart boy who spent much of his time studying and learning all he could about science. He grew up in london with his 3 siblings challenging himself and the science world. As Timothy grew into a young man so did his passion for science and technology. In March 1989 Mr. Tim Berners Lee put him name down in history for inventing one of the most used resource on the planet.  Tim invented the world wide web.

When Tim was growing up he maybe had dreams of being a scientist but you cannot tell me when he sat colouring at age 5 he knew that one day he would invent the internet. He had dreams but as he got bigger his dreams did too. He kept pushing the limits and though in his field he is recognized you don't necessarily hear his name in everyday conversation.

I say this because he is a legend! His life looks incredible but it didn't just happen he had to work hard and keep going even when everything around him said stop. If every person on the planet followed Mr. Berners Lee's example and every single hour of the 168 billion hours we are given was used to its full potential, just think about how amazing our world would be! Don't limit yourself because it seems crazy, just go for it. Take a risk and live a life that you want to live not a life you have to live. Find your dreams and then do something about it. Only you can be the best you, find your dreams and then give it all you got.

If all else fails try again

thanks

Beauty in the Broken

Beauty in the broken is often over looked.
Brokenness is seen as weakness,
not as a scar from getting up.
When heartache and hurt cut you down
courage will drive you to try yet again.


The joy that greets you is small and simple
but nothing can compare or replace it.  
Bruised and worn down the next step is the test, 
every motion forward puts defeat in the past.
The scar is still there but no longer causes pain, 
your past pushed you forward and triumph  is yours to gain.


The sun burns brighter, your smile greets the day. 
Beauty is all that's left now no sorrow, sadness or shame.
Let the world know your heart is still whole,
Embracing the moments that make you who you are.

congratulations you're disappointed

When you live your life focused on success there are so many ways that you can fail.

There is temporary fulfillment in success but more often than not disappointment becomes the only prize.

Life can feel like it is flying by and all we can do is hang on and hope we don't get to banged up. I can promise you I have had those days. There are other days though that seem to come a little less frequent but worth every bad day. These days can come along when you least expect it. It doesn't matter who you are or what you have done they come to put a smile on your face and let you know things are going to be ok. Even if right now they are crumpling in front of you eventually things will look up. Over the past few months I have been a bit of an idiot to be frank. I have had days that have knocked me off my feet and I got too tired to fight so disappointment and me became constant companions. I became obsessed with this ideology that things had to be a certain way or I had to be a certain version of myself. All that led to was frustration and confusion.

Yesterday a magical thing happened a simple phone call to make the light at the end of the tunnel a little closer. The person on the other end had no idea what the story was but they took the time to find out. In 15 minutes my disappointment seemed less of a burden and more of a distraction that I could just ignore. That may not make loads of sense but the thing is life is going to have moments where life is screaming at you to fail, a big banner in front of saying congratulations you're disappointed! That is completely fine because if I am naive enough to believe things are going to be perfect I am going to be in for heaps of trouble. I can turn the other way and put my eye on something better instead. Like the fact that it is sunny and 28* outside or on the fact that my mixed up strange family love me. I don't need to spend all my time creating a plan to be successful and making sure I have a bank account that can get me through anything. As nice as that is there are more important things and those are the things that will sustain this nomad. One moment doesn't make everything better it helps to have the good moments propel me forward.