Start Doing

There are 7 billion people on the planet.

Now I know that is common knowledge but I am infamous for over thinking so why not come along for the ride. 7 bilion people is a LOT of people, I mean that is 7 000 000 000 - that is 9 zeros.  Whats even more is if each day there are 24 hours, together that is 168 000 000 000 hours in a day for people on earth to do something significant. I have had my down in the dumps days where I feel small and insignificant but why dwell on that?

You, yes you were created for a purpose. Not just your better looking, smarter, more successful friend YOU. With so many people on the planet one of the first things our brain tells us to do is compare ourselves to others. We could look at the beautiful Mother Theresa who is known all over the world for her work in India, then there is Bono with his (red) campaign and the fight against aids, or we can look at people like donald trump or Oprah who are both incredibly influential and wealthy people. What I want to know is why?

If being significant is all about upstaging someone and being better I don't want any part. The thing is at some point in your life ( probably more than once) you are going to have to take a look back at what you have done. Being honest with yourself how many times have you evaluated your lofe and felt like it just wasn't enough? The job you thought was perfect fell through, the relationship you thought would last forever ended in heartache or you took a risk and it failed horribly. I can tick all those boxes and still have a smile on my face.

How do I that? well it sure isn't the easiest decision I have had to make. I still choose to do it though because I know that one day my dreams will come true. I am not talking about this airy fairy living on cloud 9 dream but I am talking about the things that get my heart pumping. When I talk about something and I can't help but get excited about or the ideas that I think are just a little crazy, one day those things may just change the world.

I am not saying I want recognition or to be famous and swimming in cash I want to do something that makes someone smile. My dream is for every woman, man and wee little child on the planet feel love. It is fluffy and far fetched but the reality is it is my dream. I am not going to be able to travel the world and tell 7 billion people that they are loved or that they matter but with the power of people it is possible. If you don't believe me and think that dreams have limits I would like to share a story.

Once upon a time there was a little boy by the name of timothy. Now Timothy was a very smart boy who spent much of his time studying and learning all he could about science. He grew up in london with his 3 siblings challenging himself and the science world. As Timothy grew into a young man so did his passion for science and technology. In March 1989 Mr. Tim Berners Lee put him name down in history for inventing one of the most used resource on the planet.  Tim invented the world wide web.

When Tim was growing up he maybe had dreams of being a scientist but you cannot tell me when he sat colouring at age 5 he knew that one day he would invent the internet. He had dreams but as he got bigger his dreams did too. He kept pushing the limits and though in his field he is recognized you don't necessarily hear his name in everyday conversation.

I say this because he is a legend! His life looks incredible but it didn't just happen he had to work hard and keep going even when everything around him said stop. If every person on the planet followed Mr. Berners Lee's example and every single hour of the 168 billion hours we are given was used to its full potential, just think about how amazing our world would be! Don't limit yourself because it seems crazy, just go for it. Take a risk and live a life that you want to live not a life you have to live. Find your dreams and then do something about it. Only you can be the best you, find your dreams and then give it all you got.

If all else fails try again

thanks

Beauty in the Broken

Beauty in the broken is often over looked.
Brokenness is seen as weakness,
not as a scar from getting up.
When heartache and hurt cut you down
courage will drive you to try yet again.


The joy that greets you is small and simple
but nothing can compare or replace it.  
Bruised and worn down the next step is the test, 
every motion forward puts defeat in the past.
The scar is still there but no longer causes pain, 
your past pushed you forward and triumph  is yours to gain.


The sun burns brighter, your smile greets the day. 
Beauty is all that's left now no sorrow, sadness or shame.
Let the world know your heart is still whole,
Embracing the moments that make you who you are.

congratulations you're disappointed

When you live your life focused on success there are so many ways that you can fail.

There is temporary fulfillment in success but more often than not disappointment becomes the only prize.

Life can feel like it is flying by and all we can do is hang on and hope we don't get to banged up. I can promise you I have had those days. There are other days though that seem to come a little less frequent but worth every bad day. These days can come along when you least expect it. It doesn't matter who you are or what you have done they come to put a smile on your face and let you know things are going to be ok. Even if right now they are crumpling in front of you eventually things will look up. Over the past few months I have been a bit of an idiot to be frank. I have had days that have knocked me off my feet and I got too tired to fight so disappointment and me became constant companions. I became obsessed with this ideology that things had to be a certain way or I had to be a certain version of myself. All that led to was frustration and confusion.

Yesterday a magical thing happened a simple phone call to make the light at the end of the tunnel a little closer. The person on the other end had no idea what the story was but they took the time to find out. In 15 minutes my disappointment seemed less of a burden and more of a distraction that I could just ignore. That may not make loads of sense but the thing is life is going to have moments where life is screaming at you to fail, a big banner in front of saying congratulations you're disappointed! That is completely fine because if I am naive enough to believe things are going to be perfect I am going to be in for heaps of trouble. I can turn the other way and put my eye on something better instead. Like the fact that it is sunny and 28* outside or on the fact that my mixed up strange family love me. I don't need to spend all my time creating a plan to be successful and making sure I have a bank account that can get me through anything. As nice as that is there are more important things and those are the things that will sustain this nomad. One moment doesn't make everything better it helps to have the good moments propel me forward.

just keep swimming

Some days are easier than others

yesterday was one of those brutal days that took way too long to be over. It dragged on and on not giving me much inspiration. Most days when I am happy or I have learned something new I will feel more up to blogging or talking to friends or just doing something more than sitting on my couch. Since that day wasn't yesterday I thought I would be real and give it a go on a day that the darker parts of me are out for the world to see. The thing is even though I know 100% that I am not alone in this world and there are so many people on the planet it doesn't change the heart wrenching feelings of isolation. I recently had a conversation with a friend and the both of us were surprised when we discovered that some of our biggest fears were mutual. We had both been under the impression that we were the only people struggling with it but in one single moment we felt a weight lifted knowing even if there was no one else we had each other to lean on. It didn't make the fear go away, it almost became a little scarier knowing someone was aware of my vulnerabilities.

Life is going to have days that weigh me down where the thoughts in my head drown out the ones in my heart. Some days when no matter how hard I try the struggle is to much. It is in those days that I see the worst parts of myself and after quite a few of those I have realized something amazing. If that is my worst point I am doing pretty good for myself. I could look at the crap and let that overwhelm me or I can look at the fact it hasn't completely knocked me down and use the last ounce of strength to take the next step.

My performance and striving for perfection is not necessarily going to be the best thing to focus on. Beating myself up for it is definitely not going to help the situation. I do know that even though it seems impossible a lot of the time I can look at the fact that tomorrow is a new day. I don't forget what happened the day before or ignore the facts but I can try to make the most of it.

So that is what I have decided to do, yesterday sucked and if I wanted I could let that roll over into today too. Or I can make the decision to use the small parts of me that want more than that to shine through. I am not going to be dancing around the office with a smile on my face but I am going to get a cup of tea and do what I can to make today the best I can. Today won't be perfect, it may not even be good it could balance out at OK but as a very wise fish once said "just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming" 

enjoy

The adventure of life is exquisite and meant to be enjoyed. 

every tear.

every smile.

every breathe.


every moment.

Discover Something New

Dreaming of travel and adventure is something I spend a lot of my time doing. I dream of discovering new places , tasting strange food, drinking tea in a adorable cafe, and sharing stories with other travelers.  

I have done all those things but I still want to do and see more! I have had a glimpse of the vast world we live in and I have seen its beauty intertwined in with its flaws . Together they reveal a beautiful world with so much to be unraveled. I have been back in my homeland for a few months and my nomad spirit inside is about to burst . There is a desire in me to one day have a home and family but why does that require one mold? Discovering the things that may have been hidden forever sparks something inside of me. I want to find remote villages and towns where I can gain wisdom from little old ladies who have known nothing but adventure. 

The thing is every person has their dream of a perfect life. For some it entales the urban jungle and climbing to the top of the corporate ladder. Others want to be safe in the comfort of a home and surviving on the nurture and care of the ones they love.    There are endless possibilities and ways that people find their own path.  There isn't one right way or one right way, and it most definitely isn't about success. Life is an adventure in itself and we should enjoy the ups and downs. It can seem impossible when things turn out for the worst but  there is beauty hidden in the brokenness. The scars you are left with show your strength and perseverance, the courage you had to push through. 

Your adventure is a grand  masterpiece for the world to see. You  may see far in the distance where you want to be and have no idea how to get there. 

Bliss is in the discovery of the unknown, take that first step and take each day as it comes. Find  enjoyment in the simplest of things create moments of enchantment with the ones you love. Take risks and make mistakes, try something new because you will never know what you are missing unless you do. 

Expect the unexpected

By now I have figured out that plans aren't always going to work out in my favor. No matter how hard I try or what I do there are going to be twists and turns in the road of life. Sometimes I am going to make a turn and things will seem like they are going great and I end up taking a long detour to where I wanted to be. Other times I will just flat out hit a dead end and have to go right back where I started.

Today was one of those days when it was smooth sailing, things were fantastic. For the first time in a while I had a smile on my face just because. I wasn't thinking about what could go wrong or the mistakes I made. I was looking at the up side, the parts of my life that being me happiness. Then out of nowhere, just when things seemed to be going well

*BAM*

Smack in the face an unexpected turn. It was disguised as disappointment dressed in fear. A situation that left me helpless, I couldn't go to the rescue and fix it I literally had to sit back and hope for the best.

In that moment I had a choice. I could have seen the situation as a dead end road or choose to make the most of it and not be defeated. I decided to make a change to my normal freak out and just breathe.

As people we have an inner desire for approval. It could be with family, friends, colleagues or a whole other area but the fact is we need it. We crave that feeling when we are recognized for being great. When we are faced with trials we try to figure a way out. Now many people can look inward and sort things out but a lot of people seek guidance from friends. This has been one of my greatest weaknesses. I have put other people so high on my influence list that sometimes I forget to stop and think about what is good for me. I say this because it has caused me heartache and a lot of frustration. I will go around in circles trying to figure things out and that is where the problem begins. I try I don't listen to what God is saying first i put my friends and families opinions first, my opinions second and if I am not completely messed up i go to where I should have went in the first place...to God.

I took time today to think about what is best for me and instead of running in circles I stopped for a second and had a chance to think and more importantly breathe. I went to the source and found exactly what I needed, I found peace. I don't know how things are going to turn out but I know that it isn't my responsibility to know. I made a decision to not let the twists and turns of life knock me off my feet but decided to learn and figure a way out.

When I take a wrong turn I have learned that it is ok, even if it seems right at the time I expect things to not always work out. I can expect the unexpected, it keeps life interesting and it keeps me trusting in the one thing that has truly never let me down {God}

No matter what and no matter when the unexpected happens I can let it destroy my spirit or let it push me to new discoveries and enjoy the life I was created for.

Sweet dreams

It amazes me when I think about how many hours of my day I spend sleeping. Sleep is something I literally could not live without. I do it everyday, it is part of my routine that i rarely stop to think about it's actual value. I mean I love my sleep but there is so much more to it. Getting into a comfy bed and closing my eyes a few hours pass I wake up and slowly climb out of my nest. Over and over I do the same thing but if it was that simple would it matter that much? Sleep recharges our body, it gives us energy and strength to live. While that is the most common reason for why sleep is good I suggest another as the most important reason. Sleep is where dreams come alive. When I go to sleep it is a place my mind takes over. The adventures I could only imagine (literally) come to life. I have always been a vivid dreamer and when I think back at some of the amazing dreams I have had it makes sleep that much better. There are no rules or restrictions in my mind only endless possibilities. When I go off into dream land it is almost as if my heart and head have a battle of wits. The desires of my heart compete with the logic in my head but instead of real life when logic has more influence, My heart takes my imagination on a wild ride. I could be a mermaid riding a unicorn with a pet phoenix or I could be more down to earth and dream of real life situations when I have the courage to say what I otherwise couldn't. The fact is in my dreams I can be anyone I want and can feel on top of the world. I can escape. When people tell me to follow my dreams I have never taken it as act out the dreams I have at night. I take it as A push to pursue the impossible. Strive for happiness because it is possible. Dreams aren't just something we create in our minds during REM sleep cycles when our brain is in a certain state. While scientifically that may be true emotionally people are way more intricate. Our feelings connect with our deepest secrets and in our sleep those secrets are revealed to give us hope and faith that anything is possible. I don't want to be a mermaid but in a way I want to be on the same level. I want to live a life that is so outrageous and out of the box that it is a life as unfathomable as someone being a mermaid. One of my old roommates used to tell me sweet dreams every night. I love that saying, it's the 'once upon a time' of dreams. The introduction to the extraordinary. When you wake up think about your dreams. Whether it was realistic or not use it as fuel for your imagination. Create your perfect dream and make it a reality. The only one who knows what is truly in your heart is you. The sweet dreams that are hidden away are meant to be discovered in real life. Life can be a fairy tale brought to life and enjoyed not just endured. So to my readers... Sweet dreams xx

Beauty

I have been reading a book, that in itself is a miracle, and it has blown me away with how it illustrates the beauty of a woman.

All women want to matter to someone, to feel important and loved. We are told that if your hair is just right or if you wear the latest trends you are accepted. The beauty on the inside takes second place and the longing to be beautiful revolves around the outward appearance. When in public the streets change from a means of transportation to a runway where your best efforts are put to the test. Many women use denial and say they truly believe what is on the inside is all they care about, to those women I ask them why is it when you go to a movie you find it necessary to put on make up, do your hair and find the perfect outfit? You will literally be sitting in a dark room for 2 hours and no one will see you. The fact is whether women want to admit it or not we care.

Caring about the outward appearance used to be a way women portrayed their confidence. Now when a woman looks perfect she is labeled as insecure and shallow and frowned upon by other people. We are told to focus on the inside and on the outside everyone is beautiful so it doesn't matter as much what you look like.

Seriously? Why is it wrong to just enjoy both? Some women use fashion to express themselves others get dolled up for pure enjoyment. When girls are little they get so excited when they get to dress up their dolls or try on mommies makeup. We like to feel feminine and show how we feel on the inside on the outside. I truly don't believe what is on the inside is all that matters. I don't mean that in a way that a woman's value is based on appearance but just because something matters it doesn't mean it is where value is rooted from. If the inside is all that counts was really true there would be no fashion industry no fad diets no 24hour gyms to get fit it would all be irrelevant. No matter if you are young or old how you value yourself is going to be affected by your outward appearance. But that is not the only thing looks are meant for. Looks and appearance are not just for status there is a balance.

There are so many women that consume themselves with appearance and that is when is crosses a boundary but women need to understand that there is nothing wrong with having your appearance as a focus.

I have been thinking back over the past few years and in my own life and in my friends lives. We have all had countless moments where we have emotional phone calls or emails with broken hearts striving for more. If only this was different or if that was better, we want to be satisfied but there is this voice pushing us forward saying there is always more. We try to take matters into our own hands changing things about ourselves or our situation to find a way to make things better. We want to live the best possible life we can but no matter how bad or good things are it is not enough. If we get bored we dye our hair or cut 18 inches off on a spontaneous trip to Switzerland (yes I unfortunately did this)

I could ramble for a long time but what I have realized is a woman's beauty is not just based on her appearance and her personality it is so much more than that. It has been broken down to two areas so girls can feel like they have accomplished at least one. Beauty is something that encompasses the entire essence of a woman, her gentle nurturing spirit. The way a woman comforts her friend through a rough patch in life when she herself is about to burst from heartache. There is beauty in the way a woman can be doing 10 things at once but still manage to remember the smallest details. There is beauty in the loudest booming laugh that may bring nothing but embarrassment, there is beauty in a woman when she can admit she is not ok and just needs to cry. These things are not typically used to describe beauty. When you ask someone to describe you things like loyal or kind are more common but I think it is time stereotypes and familiarity are broken. We need to change how we as women see ourselves. If you want to focus on feeling fantastic in everything you wear and your desire is to be size 0 go for it. Why is that anymore shallow than a woman who works on wall street wanting to make millions? In my opinion there is none. Women have different desires some are visible from the outside others not as much. We need to embrace the fact that beauty is more than a simple description of looks, it is a description of every single unique characteristic a woman portrays.

Embrace the things that make you you. Not to be all crazy feminist but to realize your version of beauty is going to be different than the next person. Your quirky habits as strange and bizarre they may seem they are beautiful in their own way.

I choose to embrace the fact that I am ridiculously organized and like to spend hours making spreadsheets. I embrace the fact that I like to clean when I am stressed and like to eat pancakes for dinner. I am me and no matter how big of a mess life can seem I am going to do what I can to enjoy it. It is in my DNA to strive for perfection, instead of beating myself up for it I am going to be the best me even on days when getting out of bed is an epic accomplishment. I will appreciate my worst and best traits and never stop pushing forward and never stop striving for the best.