home sweet home

Today I am finally experiencing home sickness.

I feel so far away from the people I love.

I wish I could close my eyes and be back in hector driving around with the besties.

<3 {ch} {pb} {gt} {nb} <3

I miss Canada

unknown author

When you find a man
Who transforms
Every part of you
Into poetry,
Who makes each one of your hairs
Into a poem,
When you find a man,
Capable,
As I am
Of bathing and adorning you
With poetry,
I will beg you
To follow him without hesitation,
It is not important
That you belong to me or him
But that you belong to poetry.
-author unknown

words.

There are so many words in the english language, more and more get added all the time. Yet when it is most important the words you know so well can't be found.

The simple words like

I miss you.
I love you.
you smell good.

are lost in a tornado of thoughts.

Even in Hollywood movies are based upon the fact that life is too short to keep the meaningful words inside. If one of the most shallow industries in the world has learned that lesson why hasn't the rest of the human race put it into action. I know that this is such a crucial thing to do. The words you use can change your life forever. I can even remember specific times in my life where I wish i would have said something I didn't or wish I didn't say something I had. Makes me feel immensely intelligent for sure.

I know that I should just say the words when I want to but the ridiculously overpowering curse of procrastination comes into the picture.

seriously why is it such a frightening thought that if you truly say what you want when you want good things might actually happen.

one word

rejection.

//if its an idea, intimate feelings, or thoughts, rejection is more scary than risking the truth.

There is so much more to words than just letters put together to make a picture. Words are the foundation of every relationship, whether with a friend or an enemy. They are the superpower behind every multi-million dollar corporation.

I wish I could say that from now on I am going to say the words I want to say whenever I want but the truth is there is so much destruction that words can leave behind that sometimes wondering is only slightly less painful than knowing the result of those words passing your lips.

play on

If music be the food of love, play on.
{William Shakespeare}

stars.

One of my favorite things in the world.

stars.

stargazing is one of the most incredible things to do. ever.

sitting, staring into the sky feeling so small and thinking about how God still thinks about me.
pretty incredible.


new goal. go star gazing in England.

happy.

words

So man words I wish I could have said so many words I want to say and so many words I wish had gone unsaid.

Overall everything said is worth it in the end.

Jump of the edge and just say what you need to say, don't hold back.

your love is my drug

The cliche saying " You don't know what you have until its gone" has definitely come to mind the past few days. I have so many incredible people in my life and the simple things like giving them a hung or a bum pinch ;) are some things I didn't think I would miss. So to show all of you how much I miss you and your hugs and goodness its time for....!!!

a photo montage!!

definition.love

how do you define love?

is it the overwhelming feeling inside you?

is it the choice you make to put someone else before you?

or is it the idea that every romantic fairytale can come true.

The reality is love can be defined in one word.

GOD.

God is love.

it is as simple as that.

Now if God is love love is God.
all words used to describe God describe love, does it not.

love {God} is...

powerful.

trustworthy.

forgiving.

unconditional.

truthful.

caring.

dependable.

understanding.

faithful.

encouraging.

giving.

selfless.

perfect.

a journey

there are times when all i can do is trust.
trust that when i jump off a cliff there is something there to catch me.
something that when everything is pointing to no,
there is an overwhelming yes.
what i see as hopeless is is founded on faith.
i see the now but he sees forever.
the plans of today and the dreams of tomorrow.
no matter what the circumstance there is a definite answer.
no questions or uncertain endings.
all that remains is the path to follow to the happily ever after.
the path that leads to the end.
the end where there is no need to look back,
because all that's behind you is memories.
memories that will forever be remembered as brilliant.
with everyday a part of the journey of life.
the journey begins with a choice.
take a step.

la la love

favorite poem of all time...

Sonnet 43
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith
I love thee with a love I seem to love
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

SO Awesome

In Life so many times I freak out about what I am going to do...and every time I do I always get brought back to this. Isaiah 61.

Before i was born a lady told my mom that Isaiah 61 was God's special love letter ad calling for my life. I did not hear about this till about a year ago when I had been reading my bible at home one night and crying and telling her how when I felt unsure of what to do Isaiah 61 was what made me know God had a plan. When I was baptized on my missions trip a lady who was on the trip with me told me that the night before she had been praying and Isaiah 61 had come to her right away. Yet again when I was in florida two separate times people came up to me and said that they had been praying for me and Isaiah 1 came to them for me. Regardless to say when I am unsure that God has it all under control I go back to this and know that there is a specific plan for my life, I just have to take it one step at a time and trust that if I follow God not only will life be awesome but I can make a difference for him.

Good News for the Oppressed

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
for the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted
and to proclaim that captives will be released
and prisoners will be freed.[a]
2 He has sent me to tell those who mourn
that the time of the Lord’s favor has come,[b]
and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
3 To all who mourn in Israel,[c]
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins,
repairing cities destroyed long ago.
They will revive them,
though they have been deserted for many generations.
5 Foreigners will be your servants.
They will feed your flocks
and plow your fields
and tend your vineyards.
6 You will be called priests of the Lord,
ministers of our God.
You will feed on the treasures of the nations
and boast in their riches.
7 Instead of shame and dishonor,
you will enjoy a double share of honor.
You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.

8 “For I, the Lord, love justice.
I hate robbery and wrongdoing.
I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
9 Their descendants will be recognized
and honored among the nations.
Everyone will realize that they are a people
the Lord has blessed.”

10 I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God!
For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation
and draped me in a robe of righteousness.
I am like a bridegroom in his wedding suit
or a bride with her jewels.
11 The Sovereign Lord will show his justice to the nations of the world.
Everyone will praise him!
His righteousness will be like a garden in early spring,
with plants springing up everywhere.

bahurst

stress level chart for today

9:00am-12:00pm 0/10
1:00pm-2:00pm 4/10
3:00pm-6:00pm 2/10
7:00pm-11:00pm 11/10
current -5/10 oooooooo yeah :)

expect...ations

in situations I hope for the best, hoping that the outcome will be good. unfortunately that doesn't always happen. Lately I have been realizing that plans are good but sometimes we have to just trust that things will work out. That God actually is in control of the stuff we can't figure out.

Plans are things we have to be comfortable and while yes they are good sometimes they create even more confusion.

if an expected situation turns out to be something COMPLETELY different getting wigged out is the first response. Focusing on the fact that if this didn't work out, whatever happens instead has to be better. The crud may be pourin down like crazy but eventually the rain stops and so will your crappy situation.

if you let your expectations be dependent on what God has instead of what you think is going to happen it will so turn out wicked awesome.

=====================================================================================
STORY TIME!

why did I come up with this?? long story short...boy and girl are friends nothing more...girl talks to friends who suggest hanging out is a date...girl gets nervous...boy and girl hangout... hello awkward moments and a million questions...resulting in unsure expectations...woo hoo

butterflies??

a thought came to my mind today...why is it that when we get that wierd feeling inside when we talk to our "special friends" we call it butterflies? yes I understand that people say that it is because it feels like butterflies in your stomach but I think that is quite silly. Really you smile so big your face hurts and occasionally your cheeks get all red and you feel more like you are going to throw up more than anything. It is kind of more like the flu but you are happy :p

buuuuuuut....I LOVE IT!! when you get the "happy flu" you feel like your life could be in a movie. You pick out EVERY little thing.from talking to teenagers I have learned this. When a person looks at you in the street or even talking to a friend, it is normal for them to look at you. but oh ho ho when your crush looks at you when you talk that is pretty much a sign from the Lord... they are pretty much asking you to marry them and already have your first three childrens names ready to go.

It is thoroughly amuzing and as many times as we deny the "happy flu" to be truly honest you allllll know it's happened to you.

Message From Your Heart

i am very much in like with this song...it makes my heart smile and makes me think of the lovely Chanel. One day she will be famous and I can say that we sang together in my beast of a car Hector.
Seriously look up this song, it will make you so happy
it will feel as if you have unicorns flying in your brain :)

Don't break me, I bruise easily
The source of both your love and misery

I am steady, beating endlessly
While you are dozing, dreaming pretty things
Lovely things

I don't work for free
Please take care of me

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

Don't hurt me, I bleed constantly
My efforts leave me but flow back swiftly

My rhythm, soothing, like raindrops steady
On foggy windows when you gaze outwardly
Peacefully

I don't work for free
Please take care of me
Please take care of me

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

Everytime you sleep
Everytime you eat
Everytime you laugh
Everytime you cry
Every time you love

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

coffee

I love coffee.

when i am tired it gives me a boost of energy...

it tastes delicious hot...

it tastes delicious cold...

it is even good in cake...

I am sitting in starbucks at the moment and am enjoying a very yummy cinnamon dolce latte. it's sunny and I can still enjoy a hot coffee. it is quite amazong. It was just so delicious i had to share it.

cats..no thank you

My wednesday started brilliantly i got to see some lovely friends of mine. Mark, Chanel, and i went to whiterock for some YUMMY gelato and walked around and took pictures like the awesome people we are.


Then we went to church and mcdonalds with some other friends and met this kid from the army. It was quite a grand evening.

During the day my allergies had been bugging me thanks to a new car air freshener. But they sky rocketed when I had the pleasure of meeting Chanels cat. what started as a small reaction turned into taking a few claritain pills using a roll of toilet paper and sneezing like a mad woman. It has been about 16 hours and my left eye has now swollen shut my throat is swollen so it feels like i am breathing thru a straw, my head is pounding, and to top it off my voice is so low it could put any man to shame.

so I finish with this...note to self, cats are not my friend, especially if I want to continue breathing

yes man

Amburgers.

Munchkins.

Baloons.

Seagulls.

Raptors..

Boys.

Accents.

Prank Calls.

A successful night.

foreign.inspiration

there are sometimes those days that you wake up and realize that you have the whole day to yourself! but you know you have to go to work later on that day so it feels like there is no point of starting anything because you have to work and it takes away all your motivation.
Today was one of those days.


I woke up. went to the doctor. did nothing at home. then went to work.
Work started slow and stayed slow but there was one cool moment. This guy came in and he was looking for a camera ( hence the reason he came to best buy ) anyway he was from France and being the friendly person I am we started what turned into an hour long conversation about Europe.Then it got even better it turned out he was a professional photographer! which I am freaking jealous of and he told me of some cool places in Europe I had to visit. I have wanted to go to Europe for a while but after this conversation I defs want to go asap.

So this is my official/not really official statement. I am going to Europe.
some stops along the way suggested by mr. french camera guy
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1. mount blanc, highest mountain in the alps.it's between france and italy.

2. swiss alps schilthorn gondola

3.Grotta Azzurra, in italy

friends make me happy

today I was in a sentimental mood and I was thinking of all the people I am quite happy to have in my life. After one of the best party's ever It made me pretty dang happy to know that I have awesome people as friends. PHOTO MONTAGE!!

Friends..Loves YA!!

Tomato what!?!?!

Yup disgusting...I was at BP last night and pretty sure I had the most disgusting beverage ever! It was supposed to have this mix of stuff with cranberry juice but the waitress brought me this NAS-T thing with fruit juices and tomato juice...epic fail on her part.